we all have them, even if we don't like to admit it...and we all need them, which is also hard to admit at times, especially in a world where it seems individuality strides the furthest. in the past few weeks, i have been forced to question many of my friendships. it's been due to stupid mishaps concerning senior week, which i will not go into. but in the past week or two, many friendships have been marred. it makes you realize who your real friends are...

i came home and began to read a book given to me by one of my best friends. it's difficult to classify friends as best or brightest... i have few and far between. i have many aqauintances...and i hang out with a ton of different people...but very few will i open up to. suzanne has been a friend since birth. we grew up together, and have been through much. however, because she knows me so personally, it is s bit difficult to open up to her for some reason. jess has been my closest friend in high school. since i transferred to another school (away from suzanne) i have developed an awesome friendship with jess. i can be myself around her the most, and vice versa. we have a great time together...and never feel stupid around each other. kelly and sarah have become close to me in the past year. we all seem to understand each other perfectly. then there is dan...well he was my first best friend in my new high school, and always will be. we help each other out constantly. then there is steve...i don't know where i would be without him. he has provided me with much strength and courage over the past year. he is the only person in the world whom i can tell absolutely everything and anything to. it's kinda weird, but a great reward.

NOW it's not like any of you know who i'm talking about...and it's not like you all care. but when i came across this quote in the book, i thought about these people. i wanted to see if it fit them, and it did...

"Anybody can sympathize with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathize with a friend's success." -Oscar Wilde

is this not true? you get to school or work, and a friend is complaining about their horrible evening...and you say soemthing like, "oh, it'll be okay! i know what you're going through...wanna go get something to eat and talk about it?" now think about it if the situation was a bit reversed: you get to school or work, and a friend is rejoicing over a recent accomplishment, or promotion. does your stand of support change at all? do you say in a monotonous voice, "wow, that's great." and walk away? or do you perhaps give them a hug and tell them how happy they are...and ask them if they wanna go get something to eat to celebrate? i've been thinking back to my recent accomplishments, and my friends, and how the situations were handled...

the scholastic art and writing awards just took place recently. in the art awards, over 4000 entries were submitted. out of those, they chose 500 winners. i was talking to jess, and she was like, "that would be so cool if you won!" and then when i did, she didn't seem to care...maybe because she entered something which didn't place? i dunno. but it's the first time that something like that ever happened between her and i. i brushed it off though, it didn't really bother me. so then the other day, i went out with this guy dylan. we both like each other..but neither of us want a relationship for different reasons. ANYway, when i told her about our night, again she seemed uninterested...but then she proceeded to go on about her evening with TJ and i was interested... like, seriously. i wasn't just acting. i think she realized how she had acted, because she apologized.

i don't know why it is so difficult for some people to recognize and appreciate a friend's success. they are your friend...you should be happy for them! i have to admit, i used to have trouble dealing with a friend's successes. but you begin to realize how stupid you must look if you don't; it looks like jealousy.

so the next time a friend does something worth recognizing, recognize it!! ...and mean it, from the bottom of your heart.

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