the road to cooldom

-centurychat olympics

I need to develop a bad habit. I've decided that on my quest for cooldom, no cool person is entirely good. So I have to find some hideous habit, and then I'll be cool. Sure you can dismiss this as peer pressure, but how many "cool" people do you know who are perfect?

I've decided against promiscuity. I figure, hey, that's kind of dangerous in the long run, and besides there just aren't THAT many guys I'd like to sleep with. Besides, sleeping around could get me a really bad reputation. It's the 90's, it's just not cool to be a slut.

I've also decided against drugs. Maybe it works for some people, but that's a pretty heavy bad habit to just start on I think. Sure I know lots of people who do drugs, not to mention some ADULTS still lost in their hippie daze, but I don't think drugs are the bad habit for me. I'd have to get drugs, and hide them from my parents, and all that lying crap. I mean, I can't just go "hey mom hey dad, I'm on drugs because it's the thing to do now a days".

Maybe I could start drinking, more often. Ok who am I kidding - more often. Maybe I could start drinking. Besides that Mike's Hard Lemonade I had in..........August, I'm pretty sober, in the long run. Drinking could be an easier bad habit, but then I run the risks of alcoholism, not to mention I don't really have anywhere to drink. I'd have to start going to raging alcoholic parties, but I can't stand the people who attend them. There is only so long I can listen to the football team, or watch people get stoned. The two main groups of heavy partyers in my community.

I think maybe I'll start smoking cigars. Canada has no ban on Cuba so I could likely get some good ones too. Plus they have that sophisticated "I'm too good for cigarettes" look, and that great smell. I could go to poker nights with one of those gambling hats and puff away.

EVEN BETTER! I could start smoking a pipe, those have a really great smell, and pipe smoking teenagers aren't too common around here. I could be cool and retain that uniqueness I already have. Everyone can appreciate a pipe, even the second hand smoke people. You get to spend great amounts of time cleaning them, and putting stuff in them. You can light them with matches, which are almost as much fun in themselves.

I think that's the way I'll go, pipe smoking. I can just see myself at school, out there with the smokers, off school property. They all light they're puny little cigarettes will I fill my pipe. A pipe is dignified. I could get some of those little dogs.....Scotties, and wear a kilt. Ok well maybe that's going to far. I'd have to get a really nice arm chair, you can't just smoke a pipe standing up.

I'm on the road to cool now.

Tell me if you can think of a better bad habit, but I think a pipe is the way to go

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