by Alex Nepa
Buy ME.

I was at a hotel this morning, from a business trip I had to take, At Holiday Inn they give u a complimentary copy of USAtoday to read in the morning. I came across a title that caught my interest, it reads as follows:Turner, NBC to start a new football league to compete with the NFL. I thought to myself, damn, where the hell do these guys get the time? The money? Recently both NBC and Turners' network TNT both lost their rights to broadcast the NFL on their respective networks.

Whats their solution? Lets start a new one.

Another recent purchase by Microsoft's multi-billion, make that trillionaire, Bill Gates has made was that of Hotmail, pocket change for people like this, huh? Yeah, thats right it is pure pocket change, money that could go to people like me. People who are willing to sell their soul. I am willling to sell my soul, for a small cost that is. I can see my title already, The Worlds Richest Shoe Shiner. Or better yet, The Worlds Richest Beach Bum.

But despite their already billionaire status, Turner and Gates aren't intersted in helping out people like you and I, they are more interested in creating, make that purchasing profit generating companies like hotmail, and WCW.

But what they don't know is that I have talents...

And when they make the greatest purchase ever, I can say that I have...

Souled Out.

Thanks for reading, next time I may be property of Ted Turner, or Bill Gates...Hey, Angelina Jolie could always buy me, I'd make a good sex slave.